


Mind and Body

by NanakiBH



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Anal Sex, Bittersweet Ending, Codependency, Crossdressing, Dirty Talk, Dysfunctional Relationships, Emotionally Repressed, Explicit Language, Freudian Elements, Future Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Incest, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Nipple Play, Overstimulation, Possessive Behavior, Post-Change of Heart!Shido, Psychological Trauma, Sex Toys, Suicidal Thoughts, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-22 19:36:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13173777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NanakiBH/pseuds/NanakiBH
Summary: Perhaps the desires of his own heart were a mystery best left unsolved.





	Mind and Body

**Author's Note:**

> More heart-changed Shido!
> 
> I actually wrote this one BEFORE my previous fic. I feel like that's worth mentioning because there's usually a spiritual flow from one of my fics to another. They may not be strictly related to each other, and I know that people will probably read them out of order anyway, but! I just wanted you to know where my thoughts were. It wouldn't have been right if I posted this one on Christmas instead. lol

It was a little gift; a surprise for the hardworking Prime Minister.

A pair of black socks that tightly hugged his thighs. A short skirt that showed off just the right amount of skin below the hem. A sheer shirt that gave a glimpse of the black, lacy undergarment beneath. There was a tie... But he replaced it with his own black-and-white striped one.

It was just a costume he picked up from a boutique in Akihabara. Akechi didn't visit the area often, so he'd felt really awkward when he entered the shop crowded with young cosplayers. He kept his hood up to keep himself from being recognized, but it wasn't enough to assuage his embarrassment as he quickly browsed through the selection of girls' school uniforms. He chose one that resembled the ones worn at Kosei. An authentic one would have been preferable, but that would have been a bit too pricey for something that was probably going to get torn, stained, and thrown on the floor, worn for minutes.

The lingerie was... That was something he already owned.

Overall, Akechi was pleased with the look he put together. He was so skinny, though. It surprised him that the socks fit on him without sliding down his thin legs. He was happy with the look... but when he looked in the mirror, he just felt disappointed. When it came down to it, he wasn't sure what Shido liked most.

Women.

He liked women.

It didn't even seem to matter what kind of woman as long as they had a nice figure.

As far as Akechi was aware, he hadn't slept with anyone besides him after the change of heart, but that made him feel more concerned, somehow. Knowing that Shido was probably trying to make an earnest effort to stay faithful, Akechi felt like he needed to do everything he could to secure his interest, to satisfy his expectations.

The worst part about being related was being unable to threaten him with marriage. It would have put his poor mind at ease if he had a prenup he could confidently sit on. Shido would've never thought about being unfaithful if he knew that his reputation and half of his fortune were weighing in the balance.

It was pathetic that he was still thinking like that, he knew. The change of heart should have been enough to assure him that his father was a changed man. If Shido felt like he wronged him in even the slightest way, he always immediately apologized, even for things Akechi wasn't aware of. The old paranoia he used to feel around him had mostly disappeared and was replaced by the most annoyingly average type of distrust.

Their relationship sucked.

But at least it felt normal in that way.

Considering the nature of their relationship, that was an achievement. At least he wasn't worried about them in that respect. His father's conscience hadn't grown to a level that made him reject him. The thing they had going on was still going strong. The reformed Shido may have become Prime Minister after all, but it didn't stop him from sneaking time out of his busy schedule to fuck his son.

Akechi always anxiously awaited those moments. With no more reason to keep holding on to his exhausting grudge, he fully embraced his desire for Shido's attention. His father's love became his treasure. He loved his love. Coming from him, it felt so strange and new – a little unsettling sometimes, too – but he loved it.

He just wished that he could have more of it.

But that was normal, he figured.

They weren't the same age, so he just had to get used to the fact that his father was a busy man. It was the same as before, only... Shido was even _more_ busy. And, as for himself, he wasn't a detective anymore... So all the time he spent alone felt so... Lonely.

A lot of his free time was still spent thinking about ways he could please Shido. His past self would have clawed out his own throat before he would've been willing to admit that he had such a desire. Although a part of him was still reluctant to admit just how much he wanted Shido to always be there beside him, he knew that admitting it was a step toward a happier life. There were many things about himself that he needed to examine, and it became a lot easier to do so once he wasn't consumed with hate and resentment.

Like, for instance, the reason why he was sitting on his father's bed, wearing a school girl outfit.

That was a little weird, wasn't it?

Probably.

That choice probably said something about him. As a detective, he got used to psychoanalyzing the people he was investigating, yet he had trouble looking at himself under the same lens.

Shido was excellent at figuring him out. That hadn't been to his advantage before the change, but it turned him into his most valuable and trusted confidant afterward. Shido knew him in extremely intimate ways – ways that would have proven fatal to him without the change. Akechi may have finally had some friends, but he didn't trust them with the kinds of things Shido knew. The things he knew were dangerous.

For that reason, Akechi couldn't let go of him. He was too important.

The thought of giving him up... That just wasn't possible.

So, similarly, the thought of being abandoned by him was...

 

He heard the door knob turn.

 

The door was already open before Akechi had the time to resituate himself. He'd meant to greet Shido while laying on the bed in a seductive pose. Instead, he was just sitting on the edge of the bed, hanging his head, looking like he was in the middle of an existential crisis. The surprised look that jumped to his face when Shido entered probably made it seem like he hadn't meant to be seen in that outfit.

“It's exactly what it looks like,” he explained.

Shido quietly closed the bedroom door and locked it behind him before entering. He looked tired, but he still appeared to be in good spirits, laughing as he approached the bed. “I'm not sure what you mean. What is all this?” he asked, gesturing up and down at him, from head to toe.

“It was supposed to be a surprise to reward you after a long day, but I kinda fucked up the delivery, didn't I?”

He attempted a few enticing poses.

It didn't seem to work, though. Shido looked more amused than aroused.

Akechi laid down on his side and propped his cheek in his palm.

“Sorry, Goro.” Shido reached out to pet him on the head, gently mussing his hair. “I appreciate it, but I don't have the energy... Can I take a rain check?”

“Yeah... No problem,” he muttered.

“...You sound disappointed.”

“You don't say.”

Shido took a seat next to him and grabbed him under the arms, effortlessly pulling him up out of his sulking position to sit by his side. It was always embarrassing when he did things like that – not like Akechi ever bothered to stop him. As embarrassing as it was, he also kind of liked how easily Shido could manhandle him.

“This is a cute getup,” he said. He pinched the back strap of the lacy bra visible through his shirt and let the strap snap against Akechi's back, making him jump. If he was just trying to make him feel better about his wasted effort, then he didn't need to tease him, too. It was just going to get him aroused...

“You sure you don't wanna have a go?” Akechi asked, sending him a suggestive glance.

“You know, you don't have to keep using sex to get my attention.”

 

As expected, he saw right through him.

 

Akechi curled his hands into fists over his knees and lowered his eyes, feeling positively humiliated that he hadn't thought about something as obvious as that. Adjacent thoughts had crossed his mind, but he hadn't thought about it that way. Something about it didn't sound right. Even if Shido said as much, Akechi got the feeling that he would have still needed to work for his attention anyway.

Was he just used to fighting for it...?

“I think it used to be an excuse for me,” Shido said. “It was a way for me to be close to you while maintaining the distance that was between us. It made me feel like I was in control.” He shook his head with a somewhat sad-looking smile. “I must have known how easily I'd lose control of the situation to you if I let you take over for even a second. Look at where I am now.”

“The kantei?” Akechi joked, gesturing around the room, at the official residence in general.

“You think you're being funny, but this _is_ your fault. I wouldn't have gotten here without you.” He reached over and pinched Akechi's cheek and gave it a light tug as punishment. When he let go, he kept his hand there on the side of his face, gently soothing the smarting spot. “You made me emotional.”

“That's why I disturbed you so badly?” Akechi laughed and placed a hand over Shido's. “You were afraid of losing your composure around me? You couldn't accept the thought of treating someone else as your equal?”

Shido didn't respond immediately. He just stared down at him with an unreadable expression. “Is that what you want? To be my equal?”

Slowly, Akechi looked away, his thoughts coming to a sudden stop. A part of him certainly wanted to be on Shido's level, but he already knew what a ridiculous thought that was. They could never be equal. Even if they followed each other on the same intellectual wavelength, the significant difference in their ages and positions were things they were always going to be bound by. It was inescapable.

As a result...

He felt like he still needed to keep chasing after him.

 

“Ah...”

 

Shido gave him another pet on the head, looking at him with a fond expression that made Akechi's chest feel tight. “Don't worry about it,” he said, trying to reassure him. “That outfit isn't necessary – especially if it's making you uncomfortable. It doesn't always have to be about sex. I could hug you instead if that's all you really want.”

 

Was that, though? Was that all he really wanted...?

 

That didn't feel like enough.

 

“If that was all I wanted, I wouldn't have fought my embarrassment to buy this outfit,” Akechi said. He pushed Shido's hand off his head and turned to look him in the eyes. “D-Don't get so self-centered, old man. I did this for myself. Yeah, I appreciate your attention, but... I also like pleasing you. I like knowing that _I'm_ the one who satisfies you. So when you sit there and act all unenthusiastic...” Before his confidence could collapse, he rose from the bed and gestured proudly at himself and the outfit he was wearing. “A-Aren't you turned on even a little? _Look at this!_ It's sexy, isn't it?”

Shido nodded. “Mn. Undoubtedly.”

“Then why aren't you all over me?”

He gave a vague wave of a hand. “I already told you.”

Akechi's shoulders slumped. He felt so stupid. His father – that once-unrepentant scumbag – had grown up and learned how to control his feelings without needing to hide them behind shallow, impersonal sex. It left Akechi feeling like a child in comparison, whining and begging for the things he wanted in inconvenient ways.

He wished that he could push past Shido's self-control – to lure and seduce him like he used to.

It always used to work...

“Ah.” Shido smirked; a smug, self-satisfied look. He crossed one leg over the other and held a hand to his chin. “I see how it is now. If the attention I give you isn't as physical and aggressive as it used to be, you must feel like I'm not noticing you at all. You must be trying to compensate by making your own approach more aggressive. That's how we've ended up here,” he said, staring pointedly at Akechi's exposed thighs.

Akechi put his arms around himself and backed away a step. “D-Don't read me like that! It's creepy!”

“I was on the mark?”

Nervously, Akechi played with his hair and looked away. “If you're so smart, then why don't you tell me what I'm supposed to do about this? How am I supposed to calm down?”

It was probably just the symptom of an even bigger problem. He always wondered if there was something seriously wrong with him. His father's change of heart put some of his own actions into perspective, and Akechi found it harder to forgive himself for his violent and obsessive thoughts.

All things considered, Shido was being too kind. Akechi didn't understand how his patience could stand such a selfish child.

 

“Goro.” Putting his feet on the floor, Shido moved back on the bed and spread his knees apart to leave some room in front of him. He silently opened his arms in invitation.

Seeing no reason to refuse, Akechi skeptically went over and sat down in the spot between his legs. Thereafter, he found himself enveloped by Shido's arms and felt the warmth of his breath as he dipped his head to place a kiss against his cheek.

“You're at that age,” Shido said, sighing in a way that sounded wistful.

“I feel like I've heard that one before. Stop using that as an excuse for me,” Akechi said, turning around in his hold to stare at him.

Shido loosened his embrace and his hands slowly and smoothly slid over Akechi's sides. As he continued speaking, his hands continued to absently explore, traveling up to Akechi's chest where the tips of his fingers massaged him through the thin layers of clothing.

“Still, I wonder... Do you have an interest in anyone your own age or is it just me? You had to grow up quickly, didn't you? That's probably how you ended up interested in an old man like me... But your body is still that of an eighteen-year-old.” He paused for a second to laugh. “What I'm saying is, I'm not a horny teenager.”

Putting his knees together, Akechi leaned forward and tried to hide the mortified look on his face. “Y-You're still a pervert, though.”

Shido continued to grope him, pressing the pads of his fingers over his nipples, rubbing the smooth fabric of the bra over them. “Sorry,” he said. “I'm sure there's a lot more to it. I'm not just any old man. I'm your father – and I already know that that gets you off for a number of reasons, so you better watch who you call a pervert.”

“Touché.”

“By the way, you _are_ feeling this, aren't you? Stop trying to hold it in. I know how you are – if you wanna moan, then moan like the lewd bitch you are.” He pressed his fingers down harder, focusing his attack. The sudden change in his approach and attitude sent a jolt down Akechi's spine, making him stiffen. “That's your problem. You're always hiding things. I never bought your bullshit, so now it's just insulting when you try to act all coy and innocent around me. Knock it off. It's just a habit now, isn't it?”

Akechi couldn't help but moan when Shido talked to him that way. His commanding tone of voice felt like a satisfying slap across the face. No longer having worries of repercussions, he was able to comfortably indulge in his harsh disciplining. He wished that Shido would take that tone with him more often, but he didn't seem to have a reason to unless he was given one.

“See? That's more like it.” Shido said, praising the noises he made. “Now that I've loosened your lips, how about you tell me what else is on your mind?”

That question was harder to answer than it seemed. Even though Akechi felt more willing to talk honestly with him, he couldn't piece his thoughts together well enough to tell him. As an ex-detective, he felt ashamed of himself for being so blind to the workings of his own mind.

Instead, he closed his eyes and let his mind go blank, hoping that his thoughts would rearrange themselves as he relaxed against him. With nothing else occupying his mind, he was suddenly unable to notice anything but the teasing of Shido's fingertips. He tried to steady his breathing, but it only became more ragged as he fought to keep himself from squirming around.

How long did he plan on touching him like that...?

Akechi cracked open his eyes and glanced down at Shido's hands and felt his face grow hot at the sight of his large hands groping his flat chest.

A question rose to his lips without thought.

 

“Do you ever miss grabbing breasts?”

 

On the bright side, Shido didn't laugh, but the amount of time it took him to think about that question made Akechi feel annoyed.

“Can't say I haven't thought about it.”

Irritated, Akechi clicked his tongue. “So then, if being with me like this is so unsatisfying, why are you even bothering with me? Do you even find me attractive?”

“You already know the answer to that, don't you? Look at the way you're dressed. You highlighted all the parts I like.”

He proceeded by illustrating, moving his hands down to Akechi's thighs. His fingers tickled the sensitive skin of his inner thighs as he grasped his legs and spread them apart. Taking Akechi's hands, he moved them away from the skirt, revealing the evidence of his arousal that he'd been trying to hide. A soft gasp escaped Akechi's lips as Shido placed a hand over the front of the skirt and gave him a light squeeze.

His breath stuttered and his knees quivered as Shido returned his hands to his chest. After they'd been absent for a moment, his chest felt noticeably more sensitive.

“Being dressed like this turns you on, too, so I'm sure you understand the appeal. The ways in which you're different from a woman are what make you attractive to me. This look presents a facade of innocence that contrasts nicely with your vulgar personality. It's actually very cute.” He kissed the back of Akechi's neck. “And, though it probably goes without saying, the fact that you're my son greatly contributes to my fascination. I feel responsible for this sweet, nasty boy.”

“Y-You're gross,” Akechi mumbled, affectionately elbowing him in the stomach; fitting payback for the way he pinched his cheeks, he thought.

Groaning around a laugh, Shido took one of his hands away to rub the spot Akechi hit. “You think you're allowed to act that bold now, kid? Alright... I hope you're prepared to cry.”

“Really?” Akechi asked, sending a hopeful look over his shoulder.

“...You _would_ be excited about that, wouldn't you? You're hopeless.” Shido shook his head. “You won't be smiling at the point you're begging me to stop.”

“What are you...?” He hadn't realized what Shido was referring to until he took another look down and realized that he was still rubbing his chest with one hand. The hypnotizing motion of his fingers had almost become like background noise; a persistent presence that kept him pleasantly tingling. “I... thought you were too tired to play with me?”

“This doesn't require a lot of effort on my part. Besides, you wanted me to help you calm down, right? I'll work you up until you're exhausted.”

With a quiet grumble, Akechi leaned back against him again, resting his head in the crook between Shido's neck and shoulder, giving them both an exceptional view of his torso and the lewd tent in his skirt. Distantly, Akechi realized that he could smell him; the familiar scent of smoke and lingering aftershave that still filled him with a confusing combination of fear and excitement.

Before proceeding, Shido hooked a finger in the knot of Akechi's tie and tugged it loose. Akechi helped him by pulling it over his head himself. Taking his time, Shido carefully unbuttoned each of the buttons on the front of the shirt until he was able to push it open. He sat there for a moment to admire the small bra underneath that hugged his chest before going for the clasps on the front.

Having his chest exposed like that made Akechi feel unusually embarrassed. He didn't think he had anything that he should be ashamed of until he noticed how red his nipples looked. His hands itched to cover himself, but he forced them to stay together in his lap.

When Shido teasingly swiped his thumbs over them, Akechi jumped and he pressed his thighs together, feeling his cock throb humiliatingly with excitement.

Shido forced his hands away from his lap, and, to Akechi's increasing embarrassment, lifted the hem of his skirt with one finger. A thread of precum ran from one of the pleats to the tip of his cock, peeking out from the waistband of the panties that were too small to hide its full length.

Leaning close, brushing his chest against Akechi's hot back, Shido whispered in his ear, “Try to bear with it for me.”

He let go and let the skirt cover him, then returned his fingers to his chest. Akechi watched with a slight feeling of apprehension as Shido placed the tips of two fingers over both of his nipples and lightly began to play with them, moving his fingers back and forth. He didn't do anything unique, keeping the motion constant and consistent; just back and forth, over and over, creating a buzzing, mind-numbing sensation that began around those two concentrated points and moved outward and spread to the rest of his body. Within moments, he felt like he was completely at Shido's mercy, melting in his hands.

With that much stimulation, his cock was begging to be touched, but Akechi did his best to bear with it like Shido told him. He didn't know how long Shido was going to keep at it, but he figured that he could hold off for however long it took.

As Shido continued to torment his sensitive nipples, Akechi felt a vague sensation start to spread inside his lower belly. His hips wanted to move, but he didn't care about satisfying his cock. Instinctively, he rubbed his backside against Shido's lap and was somewhat unsurprised to notice that he was hard. That made him glad, though he was disappointed at the same time, knowing that Shido probably wouldn't give in and fuck him.

That was what he really wanted...

He breathed out slowly.

“Too much?” Shido asked.

Akechi shook his head. “Not at all.” It wasn't nearly too much for him to handle yet. The continuous rhythm of his fingers only gave him a mildly frustrated feeling.

“You sure? You're rubbing yourself on me like a cat in heat.”

...He hadn't realized that he was still doing that. After he felt Shido's erection pressing against his backside, he thought he stopped, but his hips kept moving as if begging him to fuck him. All he could do was moan helplessly. The frustration became more noticeable. More irritating.

“Mn... Papa...”

Shido stopped teasing him for a moment and looked down at him with an amused look on his face. “You can't get everything you want just by acting cute.”

Akechi clenched his hands into fists. “F-Fuck, come on!”

Shido looked pleased with himself. “That's more like it. Feisty. That's the Goro I love.”

Akechi was left wide-eyed and gaping as Shido abruptly left the bed.

It was rude of him to whip out that special, four-letter word without warning. It always left him feeling vulnerable. Back before the change, Akechi liked to pretend that it had some kind of special meaning whenever Shido said it, but after the change of heart... Even hearing it used offhandedly reminded him that his father finally did hold special feelings for him. It wasn't an act anymore.

When Shido returned from the bedroom closet, an awkwardly large sex toy in hand, he stopped where he was standing, looking taken aback.

“Are you okay?”

“Huh?” He must have been making a face. Akechi could feel the way his brows were knitted together. His features felt tight. Feeling caught off guard, he just looked away and tried to hide his face until that look went away. “I'm fine.”

Shido placed what he was carrying on the bed and returned to his position behind him. He scooped him up, pulling him back against his chest, and nuzzled their cheeks together.

“I love you, Goro.”

Akechi pushed his face away. “Your beard's scratchy. Quit it.” He narrowed his eyes and sent him a look from the corners of his eyes. “A-And don't say such embarrassing things while we're in the middle of something like this.”

“When am I allowed to say it, then?”

“Say it when you mean it.” It annoyed him that he even needed to tell him something so obvious.

But Shido looked like he was the one who was annoyed. His embrace loosened and he looked down at him with a complicated feeling in his eyes; annoyance, frustration, and hurt were all there. Those painful feelings didn't inspire the same sort of satisfaction Akechi would've felt before.

“I did mean it,” he said.

Even the thought of explaining why it made him feel uncomfortable to hear him say it so casually was enough to make Akechi feel exhausted, so he didn't say anything. Since he could tell that Shido was hurt, he felt like he had to apologize for doubting the sincerity of his words, but a part of him even questioned whether he should feel sorry, remembering the way Shido used to twist his heart by playing with his feelings.

He just wanted him to shut up. To hold him.

Releasing him, Shido moved himself back a little, giving him some space. The awkwardness of the situation obliterated his tough guy act. “Sorry. Was that insensitive? Hn... I'll think first next time,” he said. “Actions speak louder than words. I'll let you feel it instead.”

Akechi didn't feel like forgiving him, but he appreciated his effort. “Well... You might not have become an expert romantic, but at least now you can tell when you fucked up.” And, since actions spoke louder than words, he scooted back and leaned against Shido's chest. Even an inch of space between them made him feel lonely.

He reached out to retrieve the thing Shido brought to the bed with him, but his hand halted just short when he realized what it was.

A plug. With a motor and wired control switch.

 

...Where did he even get something like that.

 

Akechi had a feeling he knew how Shido planned to torment him, but that wasn't enough to dissuade his interest. Summoning some of his old courage, he picked up the large object and passed it over his shoulder without looking back.

The bed shifted slightly and he heard Shido opening the bedside drawer. A moment later, he was given a light shove, pushed off the bed, and steadied by a hand on his back that kept him bent over.

Shido whistled as he admired his choice in undergarments. “A thong? Boy, that's risqué. Do you ever wear things like this under your clothes when you're in public? I bet that would be impractical, but it makes this really convenient for me.”

Akechi felt him grasp the back and gave a startled yelp when the string was pulled tight over his entrance, squeezing his balls under the already-tight material. A moment later, as the string was tugged to the side, two cold, slippery fingers were placed at his entrance. Akechi didn't want to start moaning already and make himself look too easy, but he remembered what Shido told him and let one small, anxious sound hesitantly slip as he pushed his fingers inside.

It was hard to hold himself up in that position. As Shido fingered him thoroughly, he felt like his knees were going to give out, but there was nowhere for him to steady his balance. He could feel his cock leaking as his fingers passed over his prostate, and he screamed internally as he watched precum drip from under the skirt to the floor between his feet.

Just like with the unrelenting torment given to his nipples, he wondered how long Shido planned to finger him. The toy may have been big, but he was more than ready for it – he was used to taking his father's stupid monster cock, after all. He wasn't going to be able to even stand for much longer if he kept going.

“Papa...”

“Yes?”

 

Fuck. He hadn't meant to say anything.

 

More or less, he'd reached the point where he felt like his pride could be damned. If Shido didn't get on with it, he was going to throttle him. That small plea had escaped without him even thinking, but he didn't really care.

He didn't have to care.

He really didn't have to care...

What kind of idiot was he? What use was his pride anymore? Just whose expectations was he trying to meet? He was already as low as low could go, presenting himself like a piece of meat for the lion to consume. If he was able to lower himself to that level and still be seen as desirable by him, then...

 

“P-Papa...”

 

Shido mercifully removed his fingers and replaced them with the plug, sliding it in all at once, down to the base. As soon as the switch was pressed, Akechi's knees almost finally gave out, feeling it vibrating intensely against all of his most sensitive spots. Before he could collapse, he was grabbed by the elbows and pulled back down to the bed, brought back up against Shido's chest.

Akechi eagerly tilted his chin up to face him, pleading silently with his eyes. He didn't have to say a word. Shido took a firm hold of his jaw and pulled him into an open-mouthed kiss.

Their kiss quickly deepened, tongues rolling together, and Akechi sunk further into a helpless feeling that he didn't feel compelled to escape from. Even if he was at the bottom, he wanted to go even farther down, to lower himself to a point beyond redemption, to make his father see him the same way he saw himself.

He wanted him to love even the most undesirable parts of him.

He told himself that anything was fine, but that wasn't enough. The emptiness in him could only be satisfied if he had it all. It seemed like the least Shido could do for him after he'd abandoned him and left him with such an insatiable thirst for affection.

When Shido broke away from the kiss, Akechi chased after his mouth, hungering for more even though his lungs were screaming for air. His head felt dizzy, but he wasn't sure if it was from the kiss. The heat between their bodies was making him delirious, but he was like a mouse trapped beneath his father's paw, unable to do a thing to relieve himself. His hips ached to move even more with the continuous vibrations stirring him up inside.

Shido grabbed him by the waist and rolled his hips up, letting him feel the thickness of his arousal pressing against his backside.

“Do you want me to touch you?” he asked, voice thick with desire.

Clutching the pleats of the skirt in his hands, Akechi nodded and eagerly moved with him.

He should've known that he was expecting too much, though. Shido still wanted to tease him. He was far from finished.

That time, Akechi nearly yelled when his nipples were touched. They felt raw and too sensitive, ultra-receptive to even the lightest touch. His whole body tensed at the contact, and he involuntarily tightened up around the thick toy inside him, adding to the overwhelming sensation. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to control himself, unsure whether it felt incredible or unbearable. Every time Shido pinched his nipples between his fingers, he wanted to scream, but he held it down, only letting a few broken, pitiful-sounding noises be heard.

He didn't even know his chest was capable of making him feel that way. He'd never gone that far on his own. It felt like Shido was determined to push him to the limit.

“You're more sensitive than any woman I've ever been with. You're way more fun to play with.” Akechi was able to hear the grin in his voice. “It must be because you're so obsessed with me. All I have to do is call you a 'good boy' and you'll fucking lose it.”

At that, Akechi sucked in a breath and was immediately ashamed of how right he was. “S-Sure, but do you mean it...?” he asked hesitantly, looking back.

Looking him in the eyes, Shido hummed, low and appreciative. “You should see the look on your face. Unhinged... Helpless... Disgusting... It's magnificent. That is certainly the face of a good boy. Perfectly obedient... You're the perfect son for me.”

Akechi's cock twitched at the praise and his breath stuttered. In the past, such perfectly aimed remarks would have tempted him to carve out the tongue that spoke them, but his new self loved letting his beloved father step all over his ego. Still adapting to the change of heart, Shido was still frequently clumsy, but Akechi trusted him. It wasn't a lot, but it was more than before when he could only trust him as far as he could throw him.

There was no denying the truth in what Shido said.

He wasn't helpless. Even Shido knew that.

But he wanted to be.

He wanted to feel like a child in his father's arms; safe, protected, loved. Having already stepped over the threshold of adulthood, there was only one way he could achieve such vulnerability. It was pathetic, but Shido saw how pathetic it was. He saw, and yet he still looked at him like something worth devouring.

“Pa... Papa...”

Shido stroked a hand through his hair and hushed him, then brushed his hand over one of his hot cheeks. “It's okay,” he said.

The tone was the same as always, but that small reassurance felt too sincere for Akechi to doubt.

He let out a long sigh.

“More,” he begged. He reached up and grasped Shido by the wrist, letting his nails taste the thin skin guarding his pulse.

Drawing his tongue over his upper lip, Shido returned his fingers to their work, rekindling the fire in the pit of Akechi's stomach. Every time he raked his nails over his nipples, Akechi felt it throughout his whole body, popping unexpectedly here and there like fireworks. It was exciting at first. The sensation was just strong enough to please him and still keep him wanting more, but then it began to morph. The longer Shido continued to tease his nipples in the same way, the more intense the feeling became.

It occurred to him that he never knew what true desperation felt like until that moment. While he vaguely recognized the feeling that he was approaching, he never knew what was beyond it. If Shido kept it up, he realized that he was probably going to find out. He was already teetering dangerously at the edge, overstimulated from the sensations inside and out.

Even though he was curious and wanted to find out, his body fought against him, uncontrollably squirming, trying to wriggle away from the touch. If it became too much for him to handle, he knew that he could stand up (or give Shido another vengeful elbow to the gut), but he was determined to see it through.

The unconscious movements of his hips forced him to tighten up inside again. More noises began to leak from his lips. Unable to stop them, he tried to at least keep them quiet, knowing that there were still staff around the residence who could've heard them. Shido didn't surround himself with the same shady characters he used to associate with, so they couldn't trust that a passerby would keep a secret.

A mischievous, invasive thought wanted Akechi to yell out loud and tell the whole residence what they were doing. It might've been because, no matter what, whether they were having sex or just innocently spending time together, he knew that no one else would ever be allowed to know their secret.

But he didn't mind. His wish to be loved by his father had come true. The cost was irrelevant.

He just naturally wanted to give him hell. Maybe that was what it meant to be his son...?

 

“How cute...”

 

Blearily, Akechi lifted his head and looked back. He swallowed another moan when he noticed the heat in Shido's gaze.

“What is it...?”

Shido shook his head with a smile. “You looked so happy for a moment there. You must really be enjoying yourself.”

He was, but he was getting tempted to shove Shido's hands away. There was an incessant pulse at the back of his brain. His throat felt tight. His knees were shaking.

All of that, just from having his chest touched...

Pleasure? Pain? There wasn't a word for what he felt.

 

“I want you to come, just like this,” Shido said, his words a warm whisper against Akechi's ear.

 

There was no way. At least, Akechi didn't think it was possible, but it felt like Shido's hands were going to prove him wrong somehow. The idea alone was intimidating. If he was already feeling overwhelmed, then he could only imagine what his climax would be like. He didn't even know if it was possible for him to come like that; it felt like his desire for release kept escalating, but there was no outlet to be found. He was going to pass out...

Moving his attention away from what Shido was doing with his hands, Akechi tried to put his focus on the vibrations inside of him. He shifted his hips subtly, aiming for the best angle that would put it in contact with his prostate. Once he found it, he bit back a groan and tried to stay still, letting the more familiar feeling carry him.

It wasn't quite enough, though.

His body felt like it was burning up. He couldn't think anymore. All he felt was frustration.

Tears pricked the corners of his eyes.

“Are you going to beg me now?” Shido asked, taking notice of his desperation.

Akechi shook his head and made himself dizzy. His mouth was dry, but the back of his neck was damp with sweat. His whole body was confused. When Shido gave his nipples another firm squeeze between his fingers, tears fell on their own.

Shido sighed.

His hands paused what they were doing. “You know, Goro, with the way I am now, it's impossible for me to ignore it when you're in pain...” He stopped talking. Slowly, he took his hands away and moved them to Akechi's shoulders and rubbed gently to help him even out his breathing. “I don't _like_ watching you suffer. That's _your_ thing. I only want to see you crying if you're enjoying yourself. Seeing you in actual, real pain just feels...”

 

_Wrong?_

Was that what he was going to say?

 

Sniffling, Akechi hastily composed himself, dragging the back of his arm over his eyes. “I'm fine.” It was his own fault. “I just misjudged what I was capable of withstanding. I thought I was close... I thought I could come like that without letting you touch me.”

“You probably still can,” Shido said after a moment's thought. “Here.”

Before Akechi could ask what he was doing, he was lifted and repositioned, placed near the center of the bed on his hands and knees. Getting behind him, Shido flipped up the skirt. The rush of embarrassment made Akechi tighten up, his entrance contracting around the base of the plug. Just imagining how that must have looked, Akechi buried his face in the sheets and tried not to die of embarrassment.

The fingers of one of Shido's hands lightly touched his hip before sliding underneath him to rest over his lower belly. Akechi shuddered at the contact; so close yet so far from touching his cock. While that hand stayed there, the other was placed over the small of his back.

It felt good. A lot better than before.

It was like all of that prior stimulation was finally paying off. The position was embarrassing, but it put the toy right where it needed to be. The feeling of Shido's hands lightly stroking his stomach and back kept all of his attention focused on the spot inside of him between his palms. The light pressure Shido gave to the hand on his back reminded Akechi of what it felt like to feel his weight rocking against him when he fucked him from behind. It made him wish that he could have his cock inside of him instead...

Thinking about it put him back at the edge. He was already close to begin with, so his confused, overwhelmed senses took that fantasy and ran with it, making it feel like the real thing.

Fingers clawing at the sheets, gasping breathlessly, his orgasm hit him like a sucker punch. He would have totally collapsed into a shuddering mess had Shido not been holding him. His hips continued to buck and chase the air, but all of the pleasure he felt came from inside. It was an orgasm like none he'd ever felt before. It felt like all of the fire that had been building in his body was being released as steam from every inch of his skin.

It was incredible.

And he felt...

Relieved.

 

Shido turned off the vibe switch, then gently lowered him to the bed once his shuddering began to settle, but his hands didn't leave him. They remained on his back, massaging his back and shoulders.

“You need to learn to not bite off more than you can chew,” he said. “That's what got you mixed up with me. Make better decisions, will you?”

Akechi giggled and pulled one of the pillows closer to rest his chin on. “Don't sell yourself short. Honestly, you're not half-bad now. Or maybe my expectations are just really low?” Folding his arms over the pillow, he propped himself up a little and looked back. “Your parenting skills are defective, but I can tell you're trying.”

“Parenting...” He gave a slow, thoughtful shake of his head. “Maybe. Even though I know the time has passed, part of me still feels like I need to man up and be responsible for you.”

“It may be too little, too late, but... I'm happy that we're together, even if it's like this. This is probably the only way it could be for the two of us. I can't imagine it any other way. Being nothing more than your son would feel insufficient. Whatever we are now is... Good.”

With a smile soft enough to make Akechi's heart melt, Shido slipped away and rose from the bed.

Akechi wasn't willing to let him go just yet, though. He reached out and grabbed him by the wrist.

“Where do you think you're going? You're still hard, aren't you?”

Looking away, pushing up his glasses, Shido grumbled uncomfortably. “I was going to go clean up.”

“You plan on taking care of it yourself? After I got dressed up for you and everything?” Akechi asked incredulously. He raised his ass off the bed, the front of his skirt sticking to his skin. Reaching back, he removed the toy and spread himself open with one hand. “Look. I'm already prepared and everything. I bet it'll feel really good inside me after I just came. Would you really pass up a chance like this? No need to pretend like you have self-restraint for my sake.”

“That's the problem,” he bit out, jaw tight. “I won't last long.”

 

Oh.

 

“H-Holy shit, I worked you up that bad?” He was stronger than he thought.

Tugging his tie loose with an intense look in his eyes, Shido got back on the bed and took up position behind him. Akechi watched, pulse racing excitedly as he removed his belt and unfastened his pants. Though he already came once, Akechi still felt ready for more. Watching him take his thick cock in his hand made his hips ache. They moved on their own, lifting in offering.

“Stay still,” Shido commanded, pressing him back down to the bed. After pressing the head to his entrance, it took only one measured thrust for him to already have the full length of his cock buried inside him. He laid over him, chest against Akechi's back, and wrapped his arms around his middle. For a moment, he stayed there like that, breathing roughly against Akechi's shoulder.

It seemed like he was already trying to pace himself. It made Akechi happy to know that he'd gotten him so aroused. He also loved how vulnerable he sounded. He was probably seconds away from coming.

His insides burned pleasantly as Shido began to move, slowly dragging the length of his cock against his slick inner walls. Hyper-aware of every inch thrusting into him, Akechi's cock began to throb back to life. He was happy to offer himself, and he knew that it wasn't going to take Shido long, but he couldn't help how badly he wanted more.

A surprised noise leapt from his throat when he suddenly felt Shido's fingers return to his chest, pushing open his shirt. He hadn't expected him to touch him there again. Each time he left them alone, his nipples seemed to get more sensitive. Within seconds of teasing, he became a quivering mess, weakly pressing back against Shido's thrusts to receive the kind of contact he wanted.

“You're so sexy,” Shido groaned, roughly groping his chest.

Ears burning, reeling from the feelings he received from Shido's words, his vision blurred as he was struck by a strong bolt of pleasure from one exceptionally nice thrust.

Akechi was glad that Shido wasn't going to last long because he wasn't sure how much longer he was going to be able to take it.

His toes curled and he squeezed his eyes shut. Even though he tried to stave it off, he wasn't able to keep holding it back when Shido kept thrusting so relentlessly.

“P-... Papa...! I'm...!”

“Fuck, you're coming again?” Straightening up, Shido threaded his fingers through Akechi's hair and curled them into a fist, pulling his head back so he could watch his face as he sweated his way through a powerful second orgasm. “I love being inside of you when you're coming. The way you squeeze my dick feels so good,” he said, growling his words into Akechi's ear.

If the skirt wasn't a mess before, then it was certainly beyond salvaging at that point, drenched with cum. Akechi thought he must have looked like a retched, pathetic sight, but Shido told him he was sexy...

With that thought repeating in his head, he grinned deliriously.

As his vision began to clear, he noticed Shido looking at him with a delirious grin of his own. His body felt weak and his limbs still quivered when he tried to move them, so he laid still and let Shido do with him as he pleased. He didn't know why it gave him such a sense of fulfillment... He loved knowing that he'd captured his attention, but it seemed to go even deeper than that. It was about more than simply having his acknowledgment.

There was a vengeful part of him that howled when he thought about having anything less.

If Shido ever abandoned him again or dared to turn his eyes elsewhere...

If he lost what he finally had...

He'd kill him.

 

“Goro...”

 

Ah, but the way he said his name. So different from the way it used to be. He loved it.

Sentimentality had corrupted him.

So, if he ever lost what he finally had, he didn't know if he could live. The heart was so dangerous. A time bomb in his chest. A slow-acting poison. Quicksand.

 

The arms that wrapped around his waist felt like they were there to pull him back from the edge.

The madness of that moment felt like the only thing that could save him. Without the scent of his father's sweat and the feeling of his hands, he didn't know if he would have been able to continue. The presence of that person was as precious to him as air.

He wanted him to feel the same way. And, knowing that he'd never believe him, he wanted to hear it over and over. He wanted to feel it endlessly.

“Papa...”

“Just a little more-...”

When he felt him coming inside of him, Akechi closed his eyes and soaked in the moment, letting the feelings of satisfaction and fulfillment wash over him like a comforting wave. That was the feeling he'd been looking for. It saddened him to know that his craving for it would shortly return, so he did his best to savor it, focusing on the warmth that filled his chest like a calm breath.

Shido stayed on top of him, holding him, rubbing his hands up and down his sides in a way that was probably meant to be soothing. Or maybe he was just doing it unconsciously. Either way... It was nice. It made Akechi notice how tired he felt.

They stayed like that for longer than Akechi expected. It seemed like the seconds just kept ticking by, their bodies still connected. He could feel Shido's heartbeat against his back...

Finally, just when Akechi felt like he was becoming attached to that rhythm, Shido pulled out and pushed himself up. He didn't get off the bed, though. He rolled next to him and fixed his clothes. If he was going to go down the hall to clean up like he claimed to begin with, then it would've been troublesome if anyone saw him looking like he'd just had a roll in the sack.

Still... Akechi wanted him to stay there. He didn't want him to leave for anything.

It was so childish...

He knew he was pouting.

 

Laying on his side, Shido looked at him in a way that felt scrutinizing, like he was thinking about something very deeply. It wasn't judgmental. His eyes weren't accusing him of anything. Akechi recognized it as the look he gave himself when looking in the mirror; there was a vague sense of disappointment in himself. Even knowing that the look wasn't meant to hurt him, it made Akechi's chest ache.

It really was inconvenient, wasn't it...?

Shido didn't want to keep indulging him that way anymore, did he?

 

Unfair.

It wasn't like he was forcing him.

 

“You wouldn't accept seeing me with anyone else, would you? The thought of that kills you.”

The sound of his voice made Akechi's shoulders jump.

“That's right,” Akechi said. He stared into Shido's eyes and searched through the feelings he saw there, more transparent than ever. The reason for his sincerity put a terrible taste in his mouth. It brought him to a conclusion he didn't want to acknowledge. “...You understand for a reason.”

He didn't need to say more.

Shido separated himself from him and rose from the bed.

After a moment of staring at the dark wall in silence, Shido glanced back over his shoulder at him and looked away almost as quickly. A regretful expression was there.

“Yeah,” he said.

It seemed physically painful for him to speak. Akechi didn't know how to feel about that. He should've rejoiced, but he just felt the dull sting of old sadness. It was an almost nostalgic feeling. It made him feel more disturbed to realize that he thought of it fondly, like an old friend.

“Is that all?” Akechi asked.

Shido adjusted his glasses and rubbed a hand over his head, doing the utter most to act casual while proving how uncomfortable he really was. “You want to hear more?”

Rolling onto his back, Akechi stared at the shadows on the ceiling. There was a familiar weight on his chest, but he found himself able to breathe past it despite its incredible weight. “No... It's alright. I'm glad you understand. I'm glad... you haven't forgotten, either.”

 

There he was, laying on his father's bed, looking like... That.

It wasn't some arbitrary choice. Shido was right... It was too deliberate.

The more he understood, the less he wanted to know.

 

It was whatever.

 

He was just a deviant. He just enjoyed the feeling of superiority it gave him to bend his father to his liking. He just liked the attention. He wasn't laying there dressed like that because he was trying to compensate for something he was lacking...

He had everything.

 

He had to get back into the habit of lying. It was going to be bad if he got rusty.

 

As he let his eyes unfocus, Akechi listened to the sounds of Shido moving around the room. Walking across the floor... The gentle creaking of the wooden floorboards... The sound of the closet being opened again... Then, his footsteps as he returned to the bed.

A soft, white robe was draped over him.

“Here. Cover yourself up. You can't risk having anyone else seeing you dressed like that.”

“Wha...?” Sitting up, Akechi stared at the robe in his lap.

What was he suggesting?

“It's not strange for parent and child to bathe together,” he said by way of explanation.

 

That silly bastard...

 

“Shido-san.” It felt too strange to call him anything else. The fact that they were related only seemed to matter in the moment. Once the moment passed, that connection always lost its meaning. “Thank you...”

“Don't thank me. How desperate are you?”

“Very.”

That got him to smile.

 

Akechi wished he only liked him because they were related. The desperation was going to fade eventually and take his excuses along with it. All of his unsightly reasons...

He didn't want to admit how much he...


End file.
